In real love there is no relationship... ~ OSHO ~

The healthy love of oneself is a great religious value. The person who does not love himself will not be able to love anybody else, ever. The first ripple of love has to rise in your heart. If it has not risen for yourself it cannot rise for anybody else, because everybody else is farther away from you.

It is like throwing a stone in the silent lake - the first ripples will arise around the stone and then they will go on spreading to the further shores. The first ripple of love has to be around yourself. One has to love one's body, one has to love one's soul, one has to love one's totality.

And this is natural; otherwise you would not be able to survive at all. And it is beautiful because it beautifies you. The person who loves himself becomes graceful, elegant. The person who loves himself is bound to become more silent, more meditative more prayerful than the person who does not love himself.

If you don't love your house you will not clean it; if you don't love your house you will not paint it; if you don't love you will not surround it with a beautiful garden with a lotus pond. If you love yourself you will create a garden around yourself. You will try to grow your potential, you will try to bring out all that is in you to be expressed. If you love, you will go on showering yourself, you will go on nourishing yourself.

And if you love yourself you will be surprised: others will love you. Nobody loves a person who does not love himself. If you cannot even love yourself, who else is going to take the trouble? And the person who does not love himself cannot remain neutral. Remember, in life there is no neutrality.

The man who does not love himself hates, will have to hate - life knows no neutrality. Life is always a choice. If you don't love that does not mean that you can simply remain in that not loving state.

No, you will hate.

And the person who hates himself becomes destructive. And the person who hates himself will hate everybody else - he will be so angry and violent and continuously in rage. The person who hates himself, how can he hope that others will love him? His whole life will be destroyed. To love oneself is a great religious value.

I teach you self-love. But remember, self-love does not mean egotistical pride, not at all. In fact it means just the opposite. The person who loves himself finds there is no self in him. Love always melts the self: that is one of the alchemical secrets to be learned, understood, experienced. Love always melts the self.

Whenever you love, the self disappears. You love a woman and at least in the few moments when there is real love for the woman, there is no self in you, no ego.

Ego and love cannot exist together. They are like light and darkness: when light comes, darkness disappears. If you love yourself you will be surprised - self-love means the self disappears. In self- love there is no self ever found. That is the paradox: self-love is utterly selfless. It is not selfish - because whenever there is light there is no darkness, and whenever there is love there is no self.

Love melts the frozen self. The self is like an ice cube, love is like the morning sun. The warmth of love... and the self starts melting. The more you love yourself the less you will find of the self in you, and then it becomes a great meditation, a great leap into God.

And you know it! You may not know it as far as self-love is concerned, because you have not loved yourself. But you have loved other people; glimpses of it must have happened to you. There must have been rare moments when for a moment suddenly you were not there and only love was there, only love energy flowing, from no center, from nowhere to nowhere. When two lovers are sitting together there are two nothingnesses sitting together, two zeros sitting together - and that is the beauty of love, that it makes you utterly empty of the self.

Remember again: just the other day I was saying, empty yourself in hugs, in kisses, in love, in embraces. Empty yourself! Pour yourself into love so that in your inner-world space is created - because God can enter only when there is space in you to contain him.

And great space will be needed, because you are inviting the greatest guest. You are inviting the whole existence into you. You will need infinite nothingness in you.

Love is the best way to become nothing.

So remember, egoistical pride,  is never love for oneself. Egoistical pride is just the opposite.

The person who has not been able to love himself becomes egoistic. Egoistical pride is what psychoanalysts call the narcissistic pattern of life, narcissism.

You must have heard the parable of Narcissus: he had fallen in love with himself. Looking into a silent pool of water, he fell in love with his own reflection.

Now see the difference: the man who loves himself does not love his reflection, he simply loves himself. No mirror is needed; he knows himself from inwards. Don't you know yourself, that you are? Do you need a proof that you are? Do you need a mirror to prove that you exist? If there were no mirror, would you become suspicious of your existence?

Narcissus fell in love with his own reflection - not with himself. That is not true self-love. He fell in love with the reflection; the reflection is the other. He had become two, he had become divided.

Narcissus was split. He was in a kind of schizophrenia. He had become two - the lover and the loved. He had become his own object of love - and that's what happens to so many people who think they are in love.
When you fall in love with a woman, watch, be alert - it may be nothing but narcissism, and the woman's face, and her eyes, and her words, may be simply functioning as a silent lake in which you are seeing your reflection.

My own observation is this: that out of a hundred loves, ninety-nine are narcissistic. People don't love the woman that is there. They love the appreciation that the woman is giving to them, the attention that the woman is giving to them, the flattery that the woman is showering on the man.

Two lovers were sitting on the sea beach, and it was a fullmoon night, and great waves were arising in the sea - it was a tide time. And the lover said loudly to the sea, "Now, roll into great waves!

Roll, rise into great waves!" And the great waves started rising, and the great waves started rolling towards the beach.

And the woman came closer to the lover, hugged him, kissed him and said, "I knew it before, that you are a miracle! Even the ocean follows your orders! "

This is what goes on happening. The woman flatters the man, the man flatters the woman - it is a mutual flattery. The woman says, "There is nobody as beautiful as you are. You are a miracle! You are the greatest that God has ever made. Even Alexander the Great was nothing compared to you."

And you are puffed up, and your chest becomes doubled, and your head starts swelling - although there is nothing but straw, but it starts swelling. And you say to the woman, "You are the greatest creation of God. Even Cleopatra was nothing compared to you. I can't believe that God will ever be able to improve upon you. There will never again be another woman so beautiful. "

This is what you call love! This is narcissism. The man becomes the silent pool and reflects the woman, and the woman becomes the silent pool and reflects the man; in fact not only reflects the truth, but decorates it, in a thousand and one ways makes it look more and more beautiful. This is what people call love. This is not; this is mutual ego-satisfaction.

The real love knows nothing of the ego. The real love starts first as self-love.

Naturally, you have this body, this being, you are rooted in it - enjoy it, cherish it, celebrate it! And there is no question of pride or ego because you are not comparing yourself with anybody. Ego comes only with comparison. Self-love knows no comparison - you are you, that's all. You are not saying that somebody else is inferior to you; you are not comparing at all. Whenever comparison comes, know well it is not love; it is a trick somewhere, a subtle strategy of the ego.

Ego lives through comparison. When you say to a woman, "I love you," it is one thing; when you say to a woman, "Cleopatra was nothing compared to you," it is another, totally another, just the opposite.

Why bring Cleopatra in? Can't you love this woman without bringing Cleopatra in? Cleopatra is brought in to puff the ego. Love this man - why bring in Alexander the Great?

Love knows no comparison, love simply loves without comparing.

So , whenever there is comparison, remember, it is egoistical pride. It is narcissism. And whenever there is no comparison, remember, it is love, whether of oneself or the other. In real love there is no division. The lovers melt into each other. In egoistical love there is great division, the division of the lover and the loved.

In real love there is no relationship. Let me repeat it: in real love there is no relationship, because there are not two persons to be related to. In real love there is only love, a flowering, a fragrance, a melting, a merging. Only in egoistic love are there two persons, the lover and the loved. And whenever there is the lover and the loved, love disappears. Whenever there is love, the lover and the beloved, both disappear into love.

Love is such a great phenomenon; you cannot survive in it.

Real love is always in the present. Egoistical love is always either in the past or in the future. In real love there is a passionate coolness. It will look paradoxical, but all greater realities of life are paradoxical; hence I call it passionate coolness: there is warmth, but there is no heat in it. Warmth certainly is there, but there is also coolness in it, a very collected, calm, cool state. Love makes one less feverish. But if it is not real love but egoistical love, then there is great heat. Then the passion is there like fever, there is no coolness at all.

If you can remember these things you will have the criterion for judging. But one has to start with oneself, there is no other way. One has to start from where one is.

Love yourself, love immensely, and in that very love your pride, your ego and all that nonsense, will disappear. And when it has disappeared your love will start reaching to other people. And it will not be a relationship but a sharing. And it will not be an object/subject relationship but a melting, a togetherness. It will not be feverish, it will be a cool passion. It will be warm and cool together. It will give you the first taste of the paradoxicalness of life.
OSHO

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That’s why people don’t want to see that simple fact that - I have not loved yet... ~OSHO~

How does this compassion arise? – because it cannot be cultivated. If you cultivate, it becomes kindness. How has this compassion to be brought into life? You cannot go into the scriptures, you cannot read and be helped by what Buddha and Christ say – because that will bring intellect in, it will not bring intelligence.

You cannot go on loving more and more, the way you have been loving up to now. If you move in the same direction you will not attain to compassion. Your love is not in the right direction. If you go on loving in the same way – if you listen to a Buddha talking about love, or a Christ talking about love, and you think, ’Good. So I have to love more, the way I have been loving up to now’ – then your quantity will be more but your quality will remain the same. You will go in the same direction.

Your direction is basically wrong. You have not loved. Once this thing sinks deep into your heart, that ’I have not loved yet’.... Yes, it is very terrible to feel that ’I have not loved yet’ – it is very very hard. We can believe others have not loved – that’s what we already believe . Nobody has loved you – that’s okay, people are hard. But to see that you have not loved shatters your ego.

That’s why people don’t want to see that simple fact that ’I have not loved yet.’ And because they don’t want to see, they don’t see. And because they don’t see, they are never going to be transformed. They will go on moving in the same rut; they will go on repeating the same mechanical thing again and again. And again and again they will be disillusioned.

So how to bring compassion in? If it was just your love you could have run in the same direction – to run faster, with more speed and more quantity, would be the right thing to do. But you are not in the right direction. So if you go faster, you will be going faster away from it, not towards it. Speed is not going to help, because in the first place you are moving in the wrong direction – it is the direction of lust and desire.

Then how to bring compassion in? And I say it is not feeling either. Otherwise you can cry your heart out, you can beat yourself, you can cry a thousand and one tears for a thousand and one sufferings all around, you can become very emotional. You can feel for everybody in Vietnam, in Korea, in Pakistan, or anywhere; you can feel for all the poor people.

Leo Tolstoy remembers his mother in his memoirs. He says she was a very kind woman, very very kind – ’kind’ in the sense I am using it, not in the sense of compassion. She was very kind – so kind that she used to cry in the theater the whole time. They were very rich people, they belonged to royalty. A servant used to be around Leo Tolstoy’s mother with many handkerchiefs when she would go to the theater, because she would need them again and again. Crying the whole time.

And Tolstoy says: But I was surprised to see that in Russia, even in winter when the cold would be so much, below zero, and snow would be falling, she would go to the theater – she was a great lover of theater – and the driver of her coach would go on sitting outside the coach in the falling snow.

And almost always it used to happen, the man would die. Because nobody knew when the countess would come out – any moment she would get so much disturbed by the theater that she would run towards home to fall into her bed and cry. So the coachman, the driver, had to be there on the coach and it would happen that he would get so cold that he would die. And when she would come out the driver would be thrown away, replaced by another man, and she would go on. And she would never think about this man, who had simply died there for no reason. And she would go on crying tears for something she had seen in the theater.

Sentimental people, emotional people. It costs nothing to cry, it costs nothing to feel. It costs much to be compassionate, it costs your whole life to be compassionate. A man of compassion is a very realistic man. The man of feeling simply lives in dreams, vague emotions, fantasies.

So it cannot be brought through feeling, either. Then how to bring it? What is the Zen way to bring it? To bring it, the only way is meditation. It is attained through meditation. So we have to understand what meditation is...
 OSHO

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I have never come across a person who is not enlightened...~ OSHO ~

     SINCE I BECAME ENLIGHTENED I have never come across a person who is not enlightened. You see only that which you are. Before I became enlightened, the same was the case with me -- the whole world used to appear tremendously asleep, in darkness, in death, unenlightened, because you are reflected continuously everywhere. Every other person is just a mirror; you see yourself. So don't be worried about others; think about yourself. That should be your problem.

     Others are not your problems. Whether they are enlightened or not, how does it concern you? Why should you be worried about it? If somebody wants to remain unenlightened, it is absolutely his business to decide about it. If they want to play the game of being unenlightened, it's perfectly okay. If you have become fed up with the world, if you are fed up with your anguish and anxiety and you have realized that now it is time to awake, then there is no difficulty. Nobody can prevent you. Nobody is preventing you. It is only your own decision to play the game as an unenlightened being or to play the game as an enlightened being. It is only a question of inner decision.

     In a single moment, in one stroke, you can become enlightened. It is not a gradual process, because enlightenment is not something that you have to invent. It is something that you have to discover. It is already there. It is not something that you have to manufacture. If you have to manufacture it, of course, it will take time; but it is already there. Close your eyes and see it there. Be silent and have a taste of it. Your very nature is what I call enlightenment. Enlightenment is not something alien, outside you. It is not somewhere else in time and space. It is you, your very core.

     I was staying at Mulla Nasrudin's. One morning when we were sipping tea, the wife of Mulla Nasrudin told him, "Mulla, you swore terribly at me in your sleep last night." Mulla Nasrudin laughed and said, "Who was asleep?"

     You are not asleep. Whatsoever you are doing, you have chosen to do it; it is your choice. And I insist that it is your choice, because if it is your choice, then it can be dropped immediately, the moment you are ready to change your choice. You have chosen your life to be this way -- the way of agony, anguish.

     Certainly you will ask, "Why should one want to choose a life of agony, anguish, anxiety, pain, suffering? Why? Why should one choose a life of sorrow?" There are reasons, great reasons behind it: because only in sorrow can you BE. In ecstasy you disappear. Only in pain can you exist as an entity. In bliss you are lost as a drop is lost in the ocean. You are afraid to lose yourself; hence you have chosen the ways of agony. They create the ego; the more you suffer, the more you feel you are. Suffering gives you a definition. It makes you feel solid; it gives you a feeling that you are separate from the whole. That's why you have chosen it. Nobody has chosen sorrow and suffering directly. Indirectly, you have chosen to be an egoist. Hence you have to choose suffering: without suffering you cannot be an egoist. The ego cannot exist without a sea of suffering around it. The ego is like an island in a sea of suffering.

     You are enjoying your ego. You are continuously strengthening it, decorating it, making it more and more valuable. This is your choice.

     Once you see that the ego is deeply connected with suffering and without suffering it cannot exist, then if you don't want to suffer, you drop the ego, you forget all about the language of the ego. The language of the ego is the language of agony. And then things are very simple.

     I have heard:

     A little boy worrying through his very first day at school, raised his hand for permission to go to the wash-room, then returned to the class a few moments later to report that he could not find it. Dispatched a second time with explicit directions, he still could not find it. So this time the teacher asked a slightly older boy to act as guide. Success crowned his efforts. "We finally found it," he told the teacher. "He had his pants on backwards."

     This is the situation. You are enlightened beings, just your pants are backwards. You need a slightly older boy to guide you, that's all. That's what a Master is meant to be.

     Nothing is missing; nothing can be missing. You are born enlightened. Then you have chosen a life of suffering and agony. You can live enlightened, you can die enlightened. It depends on you. It is a question of sheer choice.

     "Are you the only enlightened person in this ashram?" In this ashram you will not even find trees unenlightened.

     "If yes, is it impossible to enlighten or to be enlightened near an enlightened person?" It is not a question of being near an enlightened person. If you don't choose, you can be here forever and you will not choose. If you choose to be enlightened, you can be enlightened anywhere.

     I am needed, a Master is needed, because your desire to be enlightened is not very strong, not very intense. You don't feel the urgency, you don't feel thirsty enough for it. It is not your first priority. Maybe it is somewhere on your shopping list -- just at the end. If any money is left, if time is left, and the market remains open, you will see. But it is not first. First comes the world, and then comes God. Of course, you never come to God, because the world is vast -- one thing leads to another, and it goes on and on. God has to be your first priority. I am needed only to help you to put God on your list as the first priority, that's all. If you can put it there yourself, then you can become enlightened anywhere.

     I became enlightened without any Master, so there cannot be any problem for you. If it can happen to me, it can happen to you. The Master is not a must. It has become a must because you are so lethargic, because you are so unwilling to move towards ecstasy, because you are so attached to the ways of sorrow and anguish.

     You have become so attached to the prison, you don't want to get out of it. Even if the door is left open, you don't escape. You go on deceiving yourself; you don't even look at the door. You go on deceiving yourself that the door is closed and the guard is there. And there is nobody! The door is open and the guard is not there. But you want to remain in the prison; you have become too attached. You have invested too much in the prison. In fact you have started looking at the prison as your home. The outside world looks strange and wild, and you feel afraid.

     People are afraid of freedom, and people are afraid of knowing life too deeply. People are afraid to love, people are afraid to BE. They have lived long in the dark; now they are afraid of light -- afraid they will not be able to open their eyes, afraid they will be dazzled, their eyes may be destroyed, afraid because their life in the darkness has become a settled routine. It is secure. Why take any chance? Why go into the unknown and the uncharted?

     The darkness has become too familiar; otherwise you can become enlightened anywhere. It is your treasure. You can claim it any moment. It is a surprise why you have not claimed it up to now.

     And remember, nobody else can enlighten you AGAINST yourself. If you have decided to remain the way you are, then there is no possibility. All the Buddhas and all the Christs and all the Krishnas all put together, they cannot do anything -- and you will remain the same as you are. And it is good in a way that it should be so. If you can be enlightened by somebody else, against you, then that enlightenment cannot be very valuable. It cannot be a freedom. If you can be forced to be enlightened, then that too is going to be a slavery, a bondage -- a new bondage.

     No, it is absolutely your choice! Choose it or leave it, but remember always, it is your responsibility.

     There are many people who come to a Master and surrender just so that they stop feeling responsible. That is a wrong type of surrender. Surrender means "I am ready to cooperate," that's all. It does not mean "Now you are responsible, and if I don't become enlightened then you will be responsible for it." Then even through surrender nothing is going to happen, because the surrender in the first place happened through wrong reasons.

     When you come to me to be initiated, this is the whole meaning of initiation: that you tell me that "I am ready," that "I will not hinder your efforts," that "If you help me, I will welcome it," that "If you knock at my door, you will find me ready to receive you," that "I am ready to become a host to you," that "I will cooperate," that "My yes is total." That is the meaning of sannyas, the meaning of surrender: that "I will not say no," that "I will not resist," that "I will not fight you." It is not throwing away responsibility; it is simply dropping resistance. Not dropping responsibility, but only resistance. And once resistance is dropped, things start happening on their own accord. I am just an excuse.

     Exactly, a Master is what the scientists call a catalytic agent. It does not "work"; its presence is enough. It simply helps by being present. A Master cannot do anything to you in reality, but his presence.... You feel more trust. You cannot trust yourself; that's why you need to trust me. If you can trust yourself, there is no need. If you feel enough unto yourself, there is no need. If you don't feel enough, you don't feel confident enough, you don't feel that you will choose the right thing, you don't feel that you will move into the right direction, then surrender is helpful. You trust somebody you feel has known, somebody you feel loves you, will not harm you, somebody you feel has more than you. You trust him. You hold his hand.

     And all that happens always happens within you -- and it happens without the doing of the Master. Enlightenment is not something that can be "done" by anybody. You just relax in trust, and it starts arising in you. It was waiting there for the moment when you can say yes. If you can say yes to the whole, good, there is no need for a Master.

     If you cannot say yes to the whole sky -- it may seem too huge -- then say yes to a window. The Master is a window; it opens towards the sky. It brings you towards the sky. The Master is just a passage. Pass through the Master in trust, in love, in surrender, and things will start happening.
OSHO

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Nobody is responsible to make me happy, it is my business to be happy or to be unhappy.... ~OSHO~

Childish patterns that persist in our mind.

 It is very rare to really become mature. The child goes on remaining there. One has to say goodbye to the child - only then does one become mature.

 There is a basic cause to it: each child learns in his childhood that he has just to demand and all his demands have to be fulfilled. And they are fulfilled, otherwise he would not survive. He has no responsibility to give anything - he simply gets; and because of this a very wrong pattern sets in. The child simply gets and there is no question of giving. He becomes very manipulative, he becomes very political: he knows how to manipulate the mother and the father and the whole family.

 If it is needed he cries, creates a tantrum, creates such hell that they have to yield, or, if sometimes it helps, he smiles; but these are all strategic, political gimmicks. The whole effort is of dominating, of possessing.

And the child wants to be dictatorial - each child is dictatorial. When he needs her, the mother should rush to him immediately; not a single moment has to be lost. If he needs something, it has to be supplied right now - he cannot wait. And all these things have to be done because the child is so helpless. That helplessness becomes his strategy and he never learns to give.
 Only people who know how to give are non-possessive. Remember it. People who know only how to get are bound to be possessive because, who knows? If somebody else possesses the mother, then? So no child likes the birth of another child. He hates it - the very idea is repulsive - because that means division, that means the mother will not be absolutely available to him. Each child wants to kill the new child, has murderous ideas, and that child remains in everybody.
 We become mature physically; psychologically we remain immature. So on the surface we pretend that we are grown-up, and nobody is a grown-up. This is one of the basic problems - that everybody is showing that he is a grown-up and nobody is a grown-up. So it is only a veneer, just a facade, skin-deep. Scratch a little bit more and the child is there and the tantrum. The child wants to possess and dominate and is always afraid that somebody else may take his woman, may' take her man - then what? And you are needy, you are hungry.
 So you have to be absolutely certain that your woman never talks with anybody, never laughs with anybody, never loves anybody. You create a prison around her - a very subtle prison - and you are constantly on the watch. Now how can love happen in such circumstances? You are watching her, she is watching you, so both are against each other. afraid, insecure. How can love arise in suspicion, in doubt? Each is like a policeman to the other: every detail has to be known - what you have been doing, where you have been, with whom have you been, what you have talked about.
 How is love possible?
 Love is a fragile phenomenon. It is not possible to grow in such a hard soil, and it never grows. And because it never grows you are more hungry for it. The more hungry you are, the more possessive you become. You know only one way. So you say that you love the woman, but that's only a saying.
 If you come to know that she has been laughing with somebody else and has been happier than she ever is with you, you will kill her. But you say you love her!
 Your love can turn into hate any moment. It is only love on the surface - deep down it is hate. Your so-called lovers all hate each other, but because they need, they go on pretending. They are afraid - the woman may leave; then they will be lonely. And that loneliness makes them afraid. You will lose your identity - who you are - and what are you going to do then? You will feel almost like a small child lost in the supermarket who cannot find the mother. Or you will be like a dog, lost in the paradeground and just rushing everywhere looking for the master and not knowing where to go.
 Who will take him home?
 Unless this needy love is dropped and a totally new love arises in you - love that knows how to give, love that enjoys giving; not the love of a child but the love of a mature person - you will remain possessive. You will turn the other into a thing, you will reduce her to the thing, and when you reduce the other, the other reduces you.
 The so-called love affairs are almost like enmity. They are not love - no friendship, not at all. Each is just trying to exploit the other. It is a mutual arrangement of exploitation: 'I will exploit you, so I have to allow myself to be exploited by you.'
 Love can be defined... they have in China a very ancient definition - it is: 'Scratching the other's back so that the other can scratch your back.' That's all. It is difficult to scratch one's own back, so somebody else scratches your back and in return you scratch her back - a mutual arrangement, but nothing of much value.
 If you really want to drop possessiveness - and it has to be dropped, otherwise you will remain miserable - then you will have to understand that your child is there and that you have not grown psychologically. That child has to be taken into full consciousness. It functions through the unconscious - it has to be brought into awareness, into full light. You have to see it and its ugliness.
 In that absolute clarity you can say goodbye to the child. It is your problem.
 Jesus says 'Unless you are like children you will not enter into my kingdom of god.' And he is right.
Another saying can be created 'Unless you are childish, you will not enter into the kingdom of hell.'
 To be like children is one thing and to be childish is just the opposite. And people are childish but on the surface are trying to be brave and courageous and heroes, mm ? just on the surface all that macho. But just hiding behind that is a small crying child whose bed is wet. His mother is not available and he does not know what to do. Or a child who is hungry and is hankering for the breast and the breast is not available... is helpless.
 You will have to bring this whole state of your mind into clear light. Awareness transforms. See to it - bring it out, meditate over it. It is not just possessiveness: behind possessiveness is the child. It is not just jealousy: behind jealousy it is the child. Because a mature person is never jealous - cannot be. Why should he be?
 Nobody is obliged to love you. Nobody is responsible to make you happy. A mature person understands this much - just bare facts, bare fundamentals: 'Nobody is responsible to make me happy - it is my business to be happy or to be unhappy. Nobody can make me unhappy or happy and nobody has this responsibility, so how can I be jealous? For what? How can I make the other feel responsible and guilty? The other is free.'
If out of the freedom of the other he or she decides to be with you and loves you, be thankful. If she moves away, it is perfectly okay. If you feel sad, that is your business; that is none of her problem Out of freedom we meet and out of freedom we should remain together. And if out of freedom separation happens, so it happens; it has to be accepted. The mature person accepts life with all its thorns and with all its flowers.
And he never makes the other feel guilty. These are ways of making the other feel guilty: 'You are making me miserable because you were talking to that man and you were looking so happy. That is making me unhappy.' It is not making you unhappy - it has nothing to do with your happiness. It is your childishness, your immature demands, unhealthy demands, pathological demands, that are making you unhappy.
 So just become a little more alert of the child inside. Meditate more on it. Every day for at least one hour sit silently and watch the child, its ways, its functioning, and the whole mechanism of it. And don't judge, don't call it names. Don't condemn it because that is not going to help. That is again childish. Just watch without any judgement, without any evaluation, just watch. Let the child have its full say. See how it functions, how it works, how this mechanism has been functioning inside you.
 And just watching it you will be surprised: things have started changing. Seeing the stupidity of it one starts changing. It is going to happen.
 This is my whole work here - to make you mature, so mature that you don't need any love. You give, and if it comes in return that's another thing, but it was not the basic motivation behind it. To give love for love's sake is maturity. Much comes in return, a thousandfold comes in return, but that is another matter. That is nothing to be thought about it is not part of your desire; it is just out of the blue. But you had enjoyed giving. Then one is not jealous.
 If you are needy you will be jealous, and the child is needy. It goes on hanging, it goes on finding mother and father figures and goes on hanging on them, goes on demanding as if the whole world exists just to fulfill you! The child thinks of himself as the centre of the whole existence. That is stupid. We are not the centres, nobody is the centre of the whole.
 Just watch it, meditate over it. It will go, it has to go. It is creating misery and nothing else, so why cling to it? But it can go only when you have become absolutely conscious of it.
 This is the alchemy of awareness.
 OSHO

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This is a mystery school where your test is your actions, your responses.... ~OSHO~

Whatever I am saying you may not be able to repeat in words, but it will be resounding in your heart, in your being, and it will do its work. It will change you. You will see the change in your actions, in your behavior, the way you respond in situations. That will be the proof - not that you remember what I have said.

And don't force yourself to remain awake, because that means you are creating a disturbance in the harmony. Allow yourself to be overwhelmed completely and lost into it. It is not falling asleep, it is falling into samadhi.

Samadhi and sleep are very close; they appear almost the same. Because we are accustomed to and we know sleep, when for the first time samadhi starts happening we think it is sleep. Sleep is known, samadhi is unknown. The only difference is in sleep you have dreams; in samadhi you don't have any dreams but just a silence, utter silence - a deep stillness as if you are no more.
In church, the priest did not allow anybody to leave in the middle of his sermon. His reason was that it wakes up people who are taking a beautiful morning nap.
I also prevent people from leaving in the middle, although for a different reason. There are a few people who are moving towards samadhi and if you simply leave, it creates a disturbance. You may disturb their state, their harmony; they may lose the track.
Whatever is happening,  is perfectly beautiful; just accept it with great gratitude. This is what I want to happen to everybody.
That will be one of the happiest days for me; when everybody here is absent, is in a state of nothingness - in a sense present, perhaps for the first time in his life; present as a silence, and for the first time absent as a separate entity; when everybody becomes one with the whole and slowly slowly melts. The place is no longer so many people here, but just a lake of consciousness without any ripples.
Just to check whether you are in that state or not, my strategy is to use a joke; that gives you a jerk.
If I see that it is giving you a jerk, that means you were in the right space. And after the joke ... you have laughed and you go back again.
You don't need anything but a joke.
A zebra managed to get loose from a zoo and wandered into the countryside. He came to a farm, where the first thing he saw was a sheep. "What do you do?" asked the zebra. "I grow wool," said the sheep.
Then he saw a cow. "What do you do?" asked the zebra. "I give milk," said the cow.
Next he saw a hen. "What do you do?" asked the zebra. "I lay eggs," said the hen.
Then he saw a bull. "What do you do?" asked the zebra.
"First take off those fancy pajamas and I will show you!"
 So just a joke once in a while ... you wake up, you have a jerk and then again the silence.
You have heard Basho's famous haiku:
An ancient pond, A frog jumps in, The sound and the silence again.
And the second silence is deeper than the first silence. The frog has disturbed it for a moment, but again the silence comes back and it is deeper than the first.
It is just like you are walking on a street in the night. It is dark. A car comes by and you see the light.
It passes by you and for a moment there is light, strong light, and then again there is darkness. You will be surprised: now the darkness is deeper than it was before. The experience of light has thrown you deeper into darkness.
Many times, not knowing how life grows, we start creating problems. Now,  is going perfectly well ... even that becomes a problem. One starts thinking something must be wrong:
Nobody else is going perfectly well, and I am going perfectly well ... I am not normal. Everybody is fully awake, listening, and I am disappearing into a deep silence - and certainly you will not be able to recall what I have been saying.
But that is not needed, this is not a university where you have to be examined for your memory.
This is a mystery school where your test is your actions, your responses. Whether you have heard me or not will depend ... if it changes your behavior pattern then you have heard me. Whether you remember my words or not, that is irrelevant.
OSHO

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